I genuinely love meeting new people and getting to know them. Still, small talk has always been a hit or miss for me, sometimes it just flows, and yet sometimes it crashes before ever taking off, so I decided to do something about it, and hence began my quest: to get better at small talk, get better at starting it, and become great at keeping it going.

I hopped on Amazon and found this book with good ratings, one touch of the 1-Click Buy button later (talk about good UX!) I was a proud owner of this new book, which is exactly how I acquired it, a book that is not about small talk. Quest failed. Side quest started.

I started reading it anyway, I mean, being good at conversations is also a great skill, and maybe even helps with my goal, right? RIGHT?

Now to the book.

Apparently, the author, Jefferson Fisher, is a big name on social media; he has a massive following on TikTok (1.4 million at the time of this writing) where he gives advice and tips on communication. I had no idea!

I can divide the book into two main themes: empathy and tactical advice.

A good part of the book tells you to have empathy in many different ways and explains it from different angles, there was nearly nothing new in this part for me – I’d already gotten my dose of that from reading a series of books on negotiation but I can see how it could lead to many light-bulb moments for people new to this kind of literature.

The second part is a series of how-tos.

How to approach hard conversations, how to set boundaries, how to respond to specific types of derogatory remarks, etc.

From what I can tell, most of us were never taught how to respond to specific situations. We just mimic what we saw from our parents, in school, or on TV. If that’s you, this part can be very useful. It gives you the very next step you need to take to get on the right path – and often, that’s all we need, a gentle nudge in the right direction.

Overall, I did learn some things from this book, but the ROI for me was very low. That’s probably because I’ve already developed a personal style of handling these situations that feels natural to me. But it doesn’t mean it’s not a good book, or not worth reading. On the contrary, if you’re new to the topic and looking for guidance in any of these areas, it could be a game-changer.