How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie. What can I say about it that’s not already said? Well, I guess I’ll go with my own personal experience with this one, how did it change my behavior, and how did it impact my attitude, relationships, and results.
I’m almost sure anyone who has been into reading Self Improvement books knows about this one, or at least has heard about it.
Dale Carnegie is an awesome author, He’s writing style is direct, sincere and to the point. He uses repetition along the book to emphasize on certain principles, I almost always find repetition boring and sometimes even annoying but strangely enough not this time, not when I was reading this masterpiece.
Before we get into more details about the book itself, let me give you a before picture of myself, I’m an introvert, yet contrary to popular belief about introverts I’m socially active with many friends of different kinds, I always making people around me laugh, take lead on social occasions, and easily make small talks with strangers, no problems with public speaking either.
The main difference between Introvers and Extroverts is how they get their mental batteries charged; Batteries of Introvers are plugged into the charger when they are alone and by themselves, and they spend their mental energy when they are in presence of others. Extroverts are charged around people and crowds and spend when they are alone and by themselves.
I never had major problems in dealing with people even with the hard ones, yet there were some situations that I couldn’t understand the other person, I just couldn’t. I couldn’t understand why someone is pushing back on a true, simple, non judgmental reasoning on a matter even after admitting it’s correctness. At these times I thought that this person is just illogical or too much ego-centric and moved on, yet deep down I knew something was off, particularly with me.
Back to the book, How to Win Friends & Influence People takes a fundamentalist approach to dealing with people. In Part 1 Fundamental Techniques in Handling People the author, Dale Carnegie, establishes three ground rules of the game which forms the base for the rest of the book. The author argues that within the list of our basic needs, things like food, shelter, sleep and the like, lies another need that is seldom satisfied : Feeling of Importance or as Freud calls it the desire to be great. This was a big AHA moment for me and puzzle pieces started to get into their right places. That was what I missed and got it wrong: The Feeling of Importance in the other person. I simply failed to connect with other person because I was failing to recognize his/her need.
The rest of the book is full of practical techniques revolves around the three principles discussed in Part 1 Fundamental Techniques in Handling People.
How to Win Friends & Influence People is one of the most influential books in my life.
Would I recommend it? You bet I do!
Would I read it again? For sure.
I give 10 out of 10 to this masterpiece. You may buy this book here .
Photo: INC.com .